First of all, Louis Van Amstel took a vacation( how dare he?), so no class this week. That dance class is the highlight of my week, because even though I feel like an old fat leadfooted dork, I'm in a dance class, and I have new dance shoes, and I'm not the oldest person there, and I'm not the fattest, and I'm not the worst dancer.... and its hard to find another class where all those things are true, unless I crash some ballroom class at Jewish Home for the Aged. Maybe its a plan. Maybe I can check out some Senior Citizen Classes somewhere and be the hot young dancer. Maybe I can be the teacher.
Now second of all, I'm very tired of reading about how I, or anyone else, can lose 10 pounds in a month on a plan that offers more to eat and less exercise than I am currently doing.. Its not possible. When Jessica Simpson(for Christ sake, I am this crazy) loses 10 pounds in two weeks according to the STAR by working out for a whole hour EVERY OTHER DAY, and switching from cocktails to Iced Tea, and cutting out fried foods.....WTF? I already do that. I must have the metabolic rate of a garden slug.
In desperation I buy WOMAN'S WORLD MAGAZINE because the cover trumpets WALK OFF TEN POUNDS! The plan instructs me to walk for half an hour every other day, and do TEN minutes of weight training as well. Fuck you. Fuck them.
Did I mention that I went to Weight Watchers this week and GAINED A POUND?
Fuck everyone.
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