I'm going to be as blunt as possible. I'm fat, and my daughter is getting married in November, and I am in mortal fear of the flashbulb. So about three months ago I decided I would have to move my ass, literally, preferably off my body and onto someone elses' who needs it more( Lindsay Lohan comes immediately to mind...honestly a saggy bikini bottom, are you kidding me? I need to sew a flag on the seat of my (of course black) swimsuit to avoid being mistaken for a russian sub...but I digress.)
I've been doing absolutely nothing physical besides occasionally shoving furniture around for the last few years except for a twice a week Pilates class at a lovely studio in Beverly Hills( ALIGN Beverly Hills Pilates, I highly recommend it) with very nice instructors who never scream in my face or call me a lazy bitch. Although Pilates was keeping me reasonably upright, mobile and strong, it was not reducing what the very nice girl in the foundations department at Nordstroms tactfully called " my diameter". Obviously stronger measures are called for. I need to cheat on my pilates instructor. And I need to stop eating everything that isnt nailed down.
No comments:
Post a Comment